85 Days...

Until I leave for China. Yippee!!!

Mary Madeleine and Her Presents

Lots to Be Thankful for in '07

It will be different not having "Grandpa Ed" around this year, but I'm sure we'll all feel his presence. We all miss him.

I still feel very blessed that my family will all be together, and that no one is sick or overseas or suffering in any way. I am very thankful for that.

I am thankful that my brother talked me into taking in Kelly. I truly feel that she and I saved one another, and I'm so happy she is back to her energetic self. I never thought I would love a pet this much, or that she would mean so much to me. We are two peas in a pod.

I am thankful for my friends, and the new ones I have made. No woman is a failure if she has friends.

I am thankful for my home, with the old furnace and drafty windows. It might not be perfect, but I will always make it the best and most welcoming home I can.

I am thankful that I am and always will be ok on my own. I can take care of myself, and I will never fear being alone.

I am thankful that I am content, and hopefully that will continue into 2008!

Happy B-day Ben!

I hosted a birthday party for my nephew, Ben, on Dec. 9th. He turned two!

You're Fat, You're Ugly, and I Just Don't Like You

I would love it, absolutely love it if a guy would actually say this to me.
I mean, I probably wouldn't love it, because no one wants to be called fat and ugly. And I don't really think I'm fat and ugly. I got some thickness to me, but it's good thickness, and while I don't look like Charlize Theron, I can look decent if I try hard enough.

But if a guy was actually truthful, I might give him $20. I might even thank him for his honesty.

My friend and I are in agreement that it would be much, much easier for guys to tell us, "you're fat, you're ugly and I just don't like you," rather than to wonder endlessly what the hell they are thinking in their warped little heads when they're not thinking about food, sex, beer and football.

In the end, we really just want to know. I would have much, much more respect for someone who could tell me the truth than someone who throws me a bone once in awhile, or doesn't want to hurt my feelings.

You know, I'm a big girl (in more ways than one). They don't have to worry about making me cry or making me feel bad. I can handle it. And honestly, even if my heart gets a little broken or I get a little sad, I know life goes on, and I will move on, too. It's ok, really.

Most women just really want to know. You're not doing women-kind justice by dilly-dallying around.

So, gentlemen, just tell us. Tell us the truth. Don't sugarcoat it. Don't think you're being nice by not telling the truth, because in the end, you're being less nice.
Just tell me.
Tell me I'm fat.
Tell me I'm ugly.
Tell me I'm weird.
Tell me I'm not funny.
Tell me you're "just not that into me."

I can take it.

Bye, Terrie

The second friend I have named Terrie (with an "ie) is leaving the area to take a job in Madison. I'm very happy for her, as she will be working for the DLTCL and it will be a step up for her. I'll also still get to work with her, and she will actually be my "go to" person for some aspects of my job.

But I won't get to see her everyday or pop my head in her office just to say hi. She was a big reason I enjoyed my job at first. Our work environment is quiet enough as it is, and she said before she left last week that she hopes I don't get too bottled up in my corner office.

I know I'll still get to see her, but it won't be the same.
She was a great mentor, co-worker and friend to me, and I'll miss her.

Another Date

So it looks like my patience paid off. It wasn't easy, but it worked.
I had dinner with B on Wednesday. It was nice - quiet, relaxing and peaceful. It seems like meeting on weeknights works out the best for both of us, as work takes up a lot of his weekend time.
Is date # 3 in the future? We will see...

I Love Painkillers

I love painkillers and anesthesia. Both are wonderful things.

I remember the doctor asking me to make a fist, sticking a needle in my arm and then telling me to relax my hand. Next thing I know, I wake up with a bloody mouth filled with gauze. It was the best thing ever - not the blood and gauze, but being out during the procedure.

The painkillers have been good to me, also. I'm still really sore, but didn't swell up at all. I hope I can eventually start eating normal foods again, besides oatmeal, jello and soup.

Tomorrow

After 4:40 am tomorrow morning, I cannot eat or drink anything. At 10:40 am, I am "going under" to get my wisdom teeth pulled. All four of them.

Ten bucks says I set my alarm for 3 am and high-tail it to Perkins for a huge meal.

Why Does Patience Kill Me?

I've never considered myself to be an impatient person.

I can play hide and seek with Bella and Ben, even when they tell me where they are; hence, ruining the "hide and seek" concept.
I can teach someone a kickbox routine over and over until they get it.
I can listen to my mom go on and on when we're on the phone.
I can bake dozens of cookies in my kitchen for hours at a time.
I can play fetch with Kelly in the backyard like it's the greatest game in the world.

Yet when it comes to dating, I can be, at times, a little impatient. I try not to be, but sometimes I am. I don't know that I'm being entirely unreasonable, though. There's nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with someone you care about, and it's not like I demand someone's attention 24/7.

It probably doesn't help that I've been attracted to work-aholics, but I'd rather be dating a work-aholic than a couch potato.

The date with "B," last Friday went well, and I would like to see him again. In fact, he actually thanked ME the next day for MY PATIENCE during our date, because his work interrupted him a few times. Oh, I'm sure on the outside I appeared as cool as a cucumber, being understanding, smiling with kindness, laying a gentle, reassuring hand on what felt like a nicely sculpted bicep. The inside me wasn't thinking that way entirely. The inside me was probably a little impatient.

In spite of the interruptions, we still had a good time. From what I gather, he wants to see me again, too, but this week he's doing the jobs of three people.

So I have to be patient.
And I have to trust him.
And it's killing me.

First Date Rituals

Friday, 5 pm: Walk Kelly
5:15 pm: Feed Kelly, Sweep kitchen floor, Lay out clothes
5:30 pm: Paint nails, then lay down, shut eyes
6:10: Heat up some soup for dinner
6:23: Run the vacuum through the living room
6:28: Open and pour glass of white wine
6:30: Get in the shower
6:35: Shave legs (Do you have time for this?? Yes.)
6:40: Use pumice stone on feet? Nah. He won't see your feet, at least not tonight.
6:45: Plunge face in bowl of iced water, then exfoliate with real salt
6:50: Blow-dry hair
6:58: Apply make up
7:05: Get dressed, then pour second glass of wine
7:10: Curl hair, text Katie and Steph
7:20: Apply finishing touches, put shoes on, finish wine
7:23: Tidy up living room, check out outfit for the tenth time
7:25: Tell Kelly to quit barking and pacing. Oh wait, that's me.
7:26: Sit nervously on bed, watching Deal or No Deal
7:27: Do I have time for another glass of wine?
7:29: Doorbell rings

This Week/Weekend

- My ¡HOLA! (Hispanic Outreach Library Action) Project Workshop got canceled in Minocqua this week. Only three people were registered, so we canceled. We knew this area would be a tough sell at this time of year, but we tried. Now I will present a workshop somewhere else, which sounds fine to me.

- Poor Packers. They still have a good record, though. Poor Brett. I hope he recovers in time for Oakland. I'm glad Rodgers did well, but honestly...I want to see Brett it there. It's going to be hard when he's not playing anymore. He IS the Green Bay Packers.

- I was supposed to "bell ring" tonight, outside, for an hour. But now I'm not. I know, I'm horrible. I'm horrible, but honestly, I didn't feel that great yesterday, haven't been sleeping well and the thought of standing outside tonight when it's dark and cold just didn't float my boat. I think they struggle with finding outdoor ringers, and I can understand why. I signed up for an additional "indoor" date, and I informed the office I would not be ringing tonight. I like volunteering. I want to volunteer. But if I'm going to volunteer, I don't want to be miserable. And I know tonight, feeling the way I do, I would be miserable. Maybe that makes me a bad person, but I just don't want to be miserable by my own choosing.

- I want to get up my ugly store-bought tree this weekend. It's ugly, but I love it. I was also going to try and make cookies, but that might be pushing it. I could make some dough and freeze it.

- Our Y Staff Holiday party is on Saturday. I know the weather won't cooperate, but I'm still going to try and make it. I heard it's fun.

Early Gifts

Apparently my niece, Mary, couldn't resist opening up her Christmas presents from me a little early. My parents took her gifts with them last week, so my sister wouldn't have to lug them on the plane in January. It looks like she LOVES her new vacuum!

Date

I have a date with B on Friday. I guess you could say it's a date. We're meeting for drinks. Is that a date? Or is it an informal meeting with alcoholic beverages? I shouldn't be afraid to call it that, but I guess it is what it is.

It's a date. And I'm glad. I'm glad I have a date with B on Friday. :)

Where Did the Weekend Go?

I have been looking forward to this four-day weekend for ages, and now it's 11 am on Sunday, and I'm wondering where it went?

Turkey Day

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. We have a lot to be thankful for this year.

My parents will be in Omaha visiting my sister this year, and I'm thankful that I have siblings close by who include me in their family plans, even if they are with their in-laws. I'm glad I won't be by myself on Thanksgiving.

Busy-Tired-Poor

The next time someone asks me how I'm doing, I'm going to try really hard and make an effort to NOT say one of the following.:

"I'm busy. Really, really busy."
"I'm tired. Really, really tired."
"I'm poor. Feeling really broke this month."

Even if one of them is true, I won't say it. Even if all three of them are true, I still won't say it, and here is why.

1) We are all busy. Everyone is busy. I don't know one person who isn't busy or who doesn't have things going on. Whether you are single, married, with kids, without kids, with pets, without pets, working full time, working part time, volunteering, not volunteering,....we're all busy. It's all relative. It's nothing new, and I'm not going to get a lot of pity by saying it anyway. You know something? Life would probably be pretty boring if we weren't busy, and I for one, am a happier person the "busier" I am.

2) We are all tired. We all could use more sleep. We all want to "sleep in" more. We all want more energy. We all wish we had the energy to work all day, take care of our kids, run errands, and then run a marathon before going to bed, but that just won't happen. I'm amazed that more of us don't fall asleep at the wheel or at our jobs with how "busy" our lives are, and I'm being serious. The world is crazy, and we're expected to do it all and then some. But we're all tired.

3) We're all broke. None of us are wealthy. Yes, most of us have some kind of debt and aren't swimming in money. I know VERY few people who don't have to worry about finances. But even those people still watch what they spend. But the truth is, we're really not that poor. We struggle at times, and money can be tight, but most of us always have food to eat, clothes on our backs and a roof over our heads. My life has definitely changed since I purchased a home, but I made that choice. I'm probably still richer than most of our world's population.

Seattle Pics

129 Days

Until I leave for China! Can't wait!!!!

Stuff

* I have a stupid, freakin' cold! Hate it!
* The wisdom teeth removal date has been set for Friday, Dec. 7th. Apparently, I have the ones that aren't embedded in my gums/tissue (I forget the technical term they used), so it shouldn't be so bad. I'm still going under, though, even if it will cost me. Dental insurance won't cover the anesthetic. But I don't want to be anywhere near a conscious state when they're doing any of that stuff. Oh well...Merry Christmas to me!
* Feeling a bit "whelmed" at work. This ¡Hola! Project that I'm doing for the Gates Foundation has me stressing a bit. My first training is in Minocqua on Nov. 29th, and I still have to practice and find Hispanics to be on my panel. Yeah, Minocqua isn't exactly a hotbed for Hispanics. Never been to Minocqua, but I'm sure the drive will be pretty. Besides this, I've had meetings up the wazoo. Meetings for everything.
* I had 10 people at kickboxing class last night. Yes, 10! I don't even remember the last time I had that many. It was fun.

Ok, I Was Wrong

Not everyone in the airport is married.
On my way back to GB this morning, I counted at least six men and some women waiting in my terminal or on my flights that did not have wedding rings on. The men were actually pretty decent looking, also. Of course, they were the ones I was really focusing on. They didn't have like, arms growing out of their heads or anything.

Ok, so every guy out there isn't snatched up already. There is hope for me, even at the airport.

In less than an hour, Kelly and I will get reunited! She is already at the house, waiting for me. I missed that little stinker so much!!

Is EVERYONE Married in the airport?

When I was at the airport on Thursday night, I swore everyone and their mother had on a rock on their finger. Like everyone. Do married people congregate here or something? Short people, tall people, pretty people, not-as-pretty people, skinny people, larger people, young people, old people. They were all married. How do all these people find one another? How did they meet? I almost wanted to ask some of them. Maybe next time I will.

I still have this crazy fantasy that en route to one of my vacations, I will be sitting next to the man of my dreams. We'll talk, fall madly in love and live happily ever after. But that never happens, except in the movies.

Leaving Dodge

I leave for Omaha in 7 hours! Woo hoo!
I can't wait to get on that plane and get the heck out of dodge for a few days. I've been antsy all morning (which might have something to do with the slice of lemon babka I ate), and I'm sure I'll be this way all day.

I will miss Kelly, though. She gave me a sad look this morning when I left her at my parents' house. I know she is in good hands, but I will still miss her like crazy!
When did I become such a dog freak?

Question of the Day

Q) Is it bad when you buy a bunch of candy for potential trick-or-treaters and decide to eat a lot of it yourself?

1) YES! Like your thunder thighs need the calories! And it's for the kids!
2) No. You can always buy more.

I choose "2."

Keep Halloween Fun

The cutest thing happened on Monday.
I was shopping for Halloween candy at the evil Super Wal-Mart in DePere, the only Wal-Mart I will really ever step a foot in. I was next to the candy wall, looking at taffy, chewy candies, chocolate, gummy bears, gummy worms and anything else that will probably give me another cavity.

A young woman tapped me on the shoulder. I could tell she probably was not from this country, as her English was a little broken.
She said, "Miss...what should I get for Halloween? Can you help?" I said, "oh, you're buying candy for trick-or-treaters?" She said, "yes, and this is my first Halloween. What should I get?"
I looked at the wall and said "any of this!" She said, "anything?" I said, "oh yes, anything with chocolate or caramel....PERFECT. All this stuff is good." She politely said thank you and carried on.

Now, if I were one of those healthy crazy people, I would've led her somewhere else. But no way will I ruin the fun.

An article on MSNBC talked about how we can make Halloween more healthy by providing raisins, trail mix and popcorn.

I'm sorry, but raisins?!? You know what I did with my raisins when I got them for Halloween?? I chucked them!

I realize we have an obesity epidemic, especially among our youth, but I do think we can still enjoy Halloween and its candy in moderation.

Updates

1) I finally, regretfully, have to get my wisdom teeth pulled. Eek!! I've known I might, sorta, have to, for about a year, but it became reality when the dentist informed me yesterday that I have a cavity in one of them. I said to him, "well, if I get it yanked, then I don't need the cavity, right?" He said, "that would be correct." So, I figure it's probably worth it to just get them all yanked if I'm going to get one of them yanked, that needs a cavity anyway. My sister-in-law works at a dental office, and she agreed. I have a consultation in November.

2) The good news is that my blood pressure is 96/50, probably the best it's ever been!

3) My Wednesday interval class at the Y this week is being discontinued due to low attendance. But, I am picking up a Thursday kickboxing class at Belmark in DePere, through the Y. Apparently it's a lively group with good attendance, which is awesome! So now I am teaching kickboxing twice a week, once on Tuesday at the Y and once off-site. Fab-u-lous!

4) I'm visiting my sister and her fam in Omaha next Thursday for four days - which means I get to see my godchild, little Mary!

5) I babysat my niece and nephew, Bella and Ben, last Saturday for a few hours, and although it was fun and they were well-behaved, it was the best birth control EVER!

6) "A.D." and I are taking things slow and are keeping things more on a friendship level right now. Things were moving along a little fast for me. But, we're still talking and continue to hang out. He's such a great guy, and he deserves someone who can give him what he needs. Regardless of what happens, I'm really glad we met. When I start to doubt if I will ever meet a decent man, I surprisingly get proved wrong. They do exist!

It's Over!

The WLA Conference is finally done! Hooray! I can breathe again! I can concentrate on other things! I can get "everything else" done that I've been neglecting!

The conference went very well, and we had a turn out of about 1,000 participants. There weren't any major conflicts, and people seemed very happy.

It really was a great experience of being on the planning committee, but I'm glad it's done!!!

Great B-day

What a wonderful b-day!
Some people joined me last night after work at C Street for happy hour, and we had a great time! Joe, Karen, Jason, Diane, Steph, Katie, Sherri, Terrie and Alex all helped me celebrate! Then I had dinner with the 'rents, and that was great, too. It was a fairly low-key night, but totally perfect.

Tara is flying home this weekend. Friday night we are heading up to Crooked Lake to party with the locals, and to flirt with "Kevin." On Sunday we are going to the Packers-Redskins game, which should be a total blast. We haven't been to a game in about three years, so it should be fun. It's supposed to be great weather, so I can't wait.

I'm so lucky to have terrific friends and family to help me celebrate my b-day! It makes it that much more special.

Low 30s

Today, I turn 31.
I can officially claim myself to be in the "low 30s." That's not such a bad thing.
I know some people out there dread turning older, as if it's some kind of curse.

But I can honestly say it doesn't bother me. Sure, there are some things I would've liked to accomplish already, but I also accomplished some things I didn't expect.

Ten years ago I turned the big 2-1. But on that day, I probably weighed about 10 pounds more and knew about 100 things less. The things I've gained in the last 10 years have been priceless - confidence, faith in myself, friends, happiness, knowledge, perseverance, and self worth.

I'm a much different person than I was 10 years ago, and 10 years from now, I'll be a different person than today. Why dread turning older? We can't change it, and we know it's bound to happen. I'd rather focus on the things I CAN control. I can control how I look and feel. I can control who my friends are. I can control where I live and who I date and where I work.

With that said, I'm excited for what's to come. I'm excited about my job, the possibilities at the Y, the changes I can make in my house, making a good home for Kelly and me, who I'm dating or who still might date, and where it will all lead.

The best is still yet to come.

Me and Kelly

My Top 30

A few months ago I wrote down exactly what I wanted in a partner. I've heard of other women doing this, and they claim once they did this, they met their current spouses. I guess there is something about writing it down that makes you realize what YOU want. This is what I wrote.:

1. Post-high school education is not required, but would be nice. Some education, even for a trade or skill, would be a plus.
2. Someone who has the ability to speak intelligently and carry a conversation.
3. He has to get along with his family. It would be even better if he enjoyed spending time with them or doesn’t dread visiting them. He will like my family as well.
   
4. If he has baggage, he better be working on fixing it.
5. No drama or public outbursts. I don’t need drama queens.
6. He likes to have fun and has an open mind.
7. He may or may not drink, but doesn’t have alcoholic tendencies. He shouldn’t need alcohol 24/7 to have fun.
8. He’s kind, sincere and generous.
9. He is not selfish.
10. He enjoys being with me and spending time with me.
11. He will enjoy spending time with me whether it’s just he and I or he and I and 50 others.
12. He is passionate and finds me devastatingly attractive. And he shows it. We will have great chemistry, and I will find him attractive.
    
13. He has to have hobbies, other than sitting on the couch.
14. He will be active and enjoy doing things.
15. He’s open to trying new things.
16. He’ll be in decent shape. He doesn’t need to be a body-builder, but he won’t weigh 400 pounds, unless he is 10 feet tall.
17. He won’t smoke, chew tobacco or use recreational drugs.
18. He lets me be myself and appreciates me for who I am.
19. He won’t try to change me.
20. He is independent yet still wants to spend time with me.
21. He is willing to work at a relationship and not give up when times get tough.
22. He is not afraid of commitment and is open to marriage and possibly children.
23. He believes in some kind of religion and feels it’s important in life.
24. He is honest and faithful.
25. He will have a decent-paying, steady job that he enjoys.
26. He will have friends.
27. He will like dogs, and will not suggest how I take care of my own.
28. He will not whine when he doesn’t get his way.
29. He will not be a work-aholic or married to his job.
30. He will court me, and enjoy doing so,… ALWAYS.

Weekend

Crazy, crazy, weekend!
I got back from Seattle late on Friday, had "date #2" on Saturday and went to my mom's yesterday to watch the big victory over the Vikes! I LOVE football season!
Oh yeah...Date # 3 is tentatively being planned. :)

Sleepless in Seattle

I am having the hardest time adjusting to the times here. The news is on at 11 pm! Shows that are typically on at 8 start at 9! And instead of waking up naturally at 5 pm like I do at home, I'm waking up at 3 am! Grrrrr....

But...the city is great, the training is going well, the fruit and fish are nice and fresh, the meals they are feeding us are too delicious, and there are more coffee shops in the next two blocks than in all of Wisconsin I think. It's great!

What Happened?

Arrggghhh! I couldn't stand it. I fell asleep last night before the Badger football game was over, so I could get some decent sleep and still make my 6:40 am flight this morning. By the time I got to Seattle, it was 11:30 am (1:30 pm Central Time). The Packers game against San Diego was half over. I got my luggage, hailed a cab, and texted a few people, asking for the score. Steph wrote that we were up 17-14. I got into my room, and of course the game isn't televised here, and the score flashed across the screen....crap! we were now down 21-17. Grrr...

I decided to make the most of my time here and decided to head toward the Bainbridge Island Ferry. I wanted to see Bainbridge Island, and I heard it's actually worthwhile, not to mention not terribly expensive. As soon as I got off the ferry and was wondering in some lotion shop, Carrie texted me that we won. She assumed I knew, but I didn't. What a great surprise!!!

Then, as I was waiting for my coffee in another shop, I browsed the Sports section of the Seattle Times on the table and saw that the Badgers won 17-14 last night. Wow!

It's amazing that I had to leave hundreds and hundreds of miles from home to find out who won. Crazy...

And yes, the ferry ride was worth it. I felt like Addison Montgomery on Grey's Anatomy! :)

This Week

I had a lunch date this week. It must've went well, because "date #2" is already planned when I come back from Seattle next weekend! I don't know what will happen from here, and that's ok. I know I had a good time, I enjoyed our conversation and I want to keep getting to know him as long as he wants to keep getting to know me. It feels good to be out and meeting people. I'm enjoying it so far.

I'm also VERY excited about my Seattle trip. What a great opportunity it will be to get some training, but also spend some time in a fantastic city! And the best part about it is...I have another date when I get home! Yay!

Plunge

I'm taking the plunge, jumping into the singles pool, putting myself out there.

i.e.....I have a date next week!
A few weeks ago I said I wasn't ready. But now I feel ready again. At the very least, I'm meeting someone new, who seems very funny, nice and easy going. That's never a bad thing.
Will it turn into a second date? What will it be like? Will I enjoy myself?

I guess I'll have to wait and find out.

Wins!

Hip, hip hooray! The Packers beat the Eagles yesterday, 16-13. Although the offense needs to get something going, I'll still take the win.

The Brew Crew beat Cinci on Saturday night and yesterday, putting them in first place, where they belong!

And the Badgers beat UNLV on Saturday!

What a great weekend to be a Wisconsin sports fan!!

No "Jo"

In the last week I have been asked out on two coffee dates. I know, yay me, right?
Wrong.

The dates are with people I've seen in the past, and maybe now they're asking because I'm technically "available" again.

The truth is, I really don't want to have coffee with either one of them whether I have 50 boyfriends or am single as a dollar bill. I'm not trying to be mean. But I'm not interested in dating either one of them, and the friendship has probably run its course as well.

Last week I wrote a post on being truly happy with me first, before plunging into the dating pool again. If I want to meet someone great, I need to be a great person. And it's true. Just as I'm not very interested into developing an online profile, I'm not very interested in resorting to old stand-bys for the heck of it. It's not fair to me, and it's not fair to them. They deserve someone totally into them, and I'm not that person.

I know what some people might think....what's wrong with coffee? What's wrong with having the friendship? You're never going to meet anyone unless you try! It won't do you any harm!

I don't totally agree. Let's say I go on one of these coffee dates. It would be somewhat enjoyable, but so is reading a good book at home. And while I'm on one of these "dates," Mr. Right could be sitting across the restaurant. But is either of us going to approach each other in that situation? No. I just wouldn't do that, and most guys would probably think I'm dating the person I'm there with. I know this is a stretch, but how will I get the chance to meet a great person if I'm hanging out with someone who isn't so great? I won't.

I want my life to be as enjoyable as possible. If I don't want to have coffee, I won't. If I don't want to go to some bar until 2 am, I won't do that, either. Sometimes if I want to sit at home with my dog on a Saturday night, eating cheetos and watching TV, than so be it. In some cases, it's the better choice, and the right one for me.

You Know

You know you enjoy your job when...you're friends never hear you complain about it.
You know your dog loves you when...she licks your face first thing in the morning.
You know you enjoy a certain book when...you'd rather keep reading than get some needed shut eye.
You know it's too hot when...you're getting sweaty and uncomfortable sitting at your work desk.
You know you appreciate your parents when...you think of their feelings before you do or say something.
You know summer has gone too fast when...you have not worn one of your favorite pair of shoes or officially put out your "summer wardrobe."

Garden

I can now see why everyone goes ga-ga over having a garden.

I stopped at my brother's house yesterday, and my sister-in-law told me to pick some fresh tomatoes, beans, carrots and green onion from their garden. She also picked me some fresh rosemary, basil and pesto. When I got home I cut up some tomatoes, green pepper (store bought), onion and some of the herbs and stirred it all together with a little olive oil. Oh my gosh! The salsa-like concoction was so much fresher and tastier than anything I would buy in a store.

This week I'm going to grill up some pork and use some of the herbs. I can hardly wait to see how it tastes. Yum!

If I have one goal for next summer, it is to build my own garden, even just a small one. I'd like some tomatoes, onion, carrots and beans. Maybe some peppers. That's all I need.

e- What-the-heck?

Ok, who's trying to be funny?
I open my work inbox to find the usual library listserv emails, google alerts, stuff from co-workers, etc, when I spot a subject line that says "Meet great singles in your area!"

Huh? Is this a joke? Um....yeah. Delete.

I've never had dating emails sent to my work address before. Hotmail, yes...but not the work one. Super.

I don't even remotely feel like jumping into the singles pool again. I'm maybe, possibly ready for getting my pretty-painted toes wet, but that's about it. Sure, my male friends are encouraging me to "get back out there and find a nice rebound boy." I'm not interested.

I'm not knocking e-Harmony or those other internet matching sites. I know they can be effective, and for some people they work. I just don't feel like working too hard right now to find Mr. Right. And I really don't feel like paying money to find him.

Over the winter, I stumbled upon the book, "Be Honest - You Weren't That Into Him, Either," by Ian Kerner. One thing I really took from that was this: If I want to meet somebody truly fabulous, I have to become truly fabulous first.

In other words, how can I expect to find a totally great guy if I am not feeling great myself?

More than anything, I need time. Time to relax, time to heal, time to recollect and time to become that fabulous person again. I need time more than a rebound boy, a one-night fling, or a eHarmony email. I do think we meet people when we least expect it. I also think we meet them when we are at our best and happy with ourselves.

I know I will get to that place again, when I have that spring in my step and an easy-going smile on my face. It will come. I wouldn't expect to attract many men at this point, and that's ok. If I want to meet someone great, I have to become my "best" self.

And that is what I will do. Be the best I can be, surround myself around the best people and want the best. Work out, be generous, be kind, eat healthy, work hard and play hard.

So, eHarmony, match.com and all the other singles-schmingles websites can send me all the emails they want. I'm not taking the plunge.

Stuck

I feel stuck.
When I want to cry, I can't. When I don't want to cry, I do.
I want to call my mom. My sister. Anyone. But I don't want them to know that I am upset, because then that will make them upset. And then I'll feel bad that I made them upset in the first place.

I feel bad for my grandma. I can't imagine how she feels after losing someone she was with for almost 67 years.
I feel bad for my mom, who is now without a parent. I feel bad for my niece, Kate, who clung to my mom at the beginning of the funeral, experiencing her first real loss.

I know my co-workers think I've been quiet. They say to me, "you've been so quiet lately..." I chalk it up to having a lot to do, which isn't a lie. The truth is, I like being busy. I thrive on it. They know I seem sad, but they don't ask me anything else, and that's ok with me.

I know I'm in a rut, and it won't last forever. We all go through ruts. They hurt, and they are hard. As Tara said, "it's understandable. You've had some bad sh*t happen." I have a lot to look forward to, and a lot to be thankful for. I just hope the stuck feeling goes away soon.

Much-Needed Massage

I had my first (professional) massage yesterday, in over a year. It was fantastic!

I was tight, tense and sore. The areas that were worked on needed it badly. There were times that it hurt so badly that I almost wanted to cry. My shoulders ached this morning when I got dressed, so whatever was done must've been good. I realized that I need to schedule one more often, even if I think I shouldn't do it or can't afford one. It's just worth it.

Good Bye, Grandpa

My Grandpa Ed, at the age of 87, passed away peacefully last evening.
He was my mother's father, and the only grandfather I ever knew. My dad's father died of a heart attack when my dad was only 17.

We knew it was coming. His heart had been failing the last several months. He had been in a nursing home for several weeks, and before then, had been receiving hospice care at his home. My dad told me a few days ago that he had stopped eating solids, and his body was starting to shut down. He wasn't recognizing family as well. The last time I saw him, he thought I was my older sister. Even though we knew it was coming, it still is never easy once it happens, is it?

He and my grandma would've celebrated their 66th anniversary this November. In this day and age, that is pretty unbelievable. It's actually pretty amazing that up until now, I had three grandparents still living.

Grandpa was never the epitome of great health. My family and I seriously wondered how he kept his body going all these years. For decades, he smoked, drank, drove when he shouldn't have, chewed Copenhagen and gambled until the wee hours of the morning at the casino (driving my grandma nuts in the process.) A few years ago he passed out at a black jack table, and we're told that when he "came to" in the ambulance, he kept saying, "hit me, hit me." That still makes me chuckle.

He lived his life and did what he wanted. And hopefully now he is in a very peaceful place. That is all anyone of us can ask for.

Growing Up

I spent Saturday and part of Sunday with my niece and nephew, Kate(9) and Jack (10). We had a full day - went to the Farmers Market, the library, grilled out, went swimming, to a movie, a party and to Bay Beach. We had a great time, and I love spending time with them. They love to hear stories about me and my siblings when we were little, stories that my sister has told them time and time again.

But somewhere between the swimming and sitting with them on the top of the Ferris wheel, it hit me. They're not going to be little "pips" forever. Right now, it's still "cool" for them to hang out with their Auntie Jamie. They still give hugs, want to snuggle when watching TV and aren't afraid to show their affection. They want to be seen with me on the Tilt-a-Whirl. They beg me to go on The Scat and think it's funny when I can't stomach the rides as well as they can.

I know this probably won't last much longer, and evidence of this is in my two older nephews, Bill (15) and Bob (12). Bill, who was born when I was 15 years old, will have his drivers' license in two months, and before we know it, he'll be off to college. Bob is becoming so mature and polite, his voice is already changing, and I don't get as many hugs from him anymore.

I know it's all part of growing up, and my parents probably felt the same way at one point. I can't keep them little forever, and all I can do in the meantime is enjoy this time and their youth while it's still here.

Good Things

- My boss at the Y wishes she had the $$ to hire me as a full-time staff member.
- My friend told me it appears I've lost weight since the last time she saw me, and that I am looking "awesome." (Who doesn't like hearing that?!?)
- "Eckfest" is on Saturday.
- My niece (Kate) and nephew (Jack) are having their annual "Auntie Jamie sleepover" this weekend.
- I am getting a massage next week.
- The Brew Crew is still in first place in the Central Division, despite their inability to establish anything close to a winning streak.
- Kelly is back to her normal self: barking, running, playing, smiling, being annoying.
- I recently got to have dinner with a friend and catch up.

Happy B-day

On a more positive note, it's my brother's b-day today. My "little" brother, Joel, turns 28. He is the baby of the family, but married, and is also a dad to Isabella (2.5) and Ben (1.5). Joel and I were always pretty close growing up: playing in the sandbox, swimming in the pool, and eventually, watching shows like "90210" and "Melrose Place" in his room. Seriously! Even today, I have called him to check out things in my attic or basement, and he's always there.

We've certainly had our fights and disagreements over the years, such as hair pulling and vicious brother-sister hitting. But we eventually always wound back up as friends.

I'm very proud of him. He works for my dad on the farm, and he is a great husband and dad himself - always hugging and kissing Bella and Ben, and they adore him, too.
And no matter what, he'll always be my "little" brother.
I hope he has a great b-day!

Bridge

Can you imagine sitting idle on Tower Drive, or the Mason St. bridge, or the Walnut St. bridge, and it just....collapses? The thought of that seems so scary to me. I can't even imagine what people yesterday in Mpls were thinking, especially the kids who escaped from the bus. My heart goes out to all of them, who were hurt, who lost someone, or who still can't locate someone. What a horrible, scary, scary thing.

Saving

I decided to take a personal day on Friday. I need one badly, physically and mentally. I haven't had a whole day off since March. I was home for a few days when I had strep throat, but laying at bed at home coughing up my lungs and then some isn't exactly a great time. I can get stuff done in the morning and then head up to CL (Crooked Lake) in the afternoon. CL has always done wonders. The sandy lake, sun, good company and good dive bars are enough to make anyone feel better.

I'm always hesitant to take personal days, because I only get two per year. I've wanted to take them before, but I always felt I had to "save" them for another time - Thanksgiving, Christmas, a long weekend, a trip that I probably won't take, etc.

Well, what the FLIP am I "saving" them for!?!?! I could get hit by a truck tomorrow when crossing Pine St., and what good will they do me then??

But it's not just the personal days I've saved for. Several years ago, Victoria's Secret carried this perfume called "exotic bouquet." It was exotic. It was amazing. I loved it. After I found out the idiots were discontinuing it, I tried "saving" what I had left, and only dabbling myself with it for those special occasions. Finally I got to the point where enough was enough, and I started wearing it every day.

I'm not knocking the whole saving concept, because it is a good thing. But I'm also realizing that sometimes you just need to cash things in. It's worth it.

Welcome Lily!

I have a new niece: Lily Patricia Matczak! !
7 lbs. 10 oz., 19 in. long.
She has 1o fingers and 10 toes and lots of dark hair; little lips, rosy complexion and the infamous "Matczak" (i.e. wide) nose!

She was born on the same day (July 26) as her cousin, Kate, and a day before her parents' anniversary!

I'm sure my mom (Pat) almost wet her pants when they told her. In her defense, my dad already has two grandchildren named after him (William Bernard and Jack Bernard), my deceased aunt has two (McKenzie Mary and Mary Madeleine) and one is after my grandmother (Kathleen Alice). Heck, one has our family name (Robert Matczak) and another is named after a country (John Ireland). My mom, never one to be subtle, always made it well known that "Patricia Ann" was still not taken when my siblings would throw around potential baby names. Like all 11 others, she'll spoil this one extra rotten.



Lily had lots of visitors at the hospital, including her cousins Isabella and Ben, and twin siblings, Jack and Elle. I heard they seemed to like her in the hospital, but we'll see how they feel about her when she is at THEIR house, playing with THEIR toys, taking away from THEIR attention. That could be interesting!
She is going home today and will probably have lots of visitors. She's a cutie pie!! Of course, I am a little biased...

Peppy Kelly

Kelly's back (I took this photo today!)
She's definitely back to her more normal self, only not as crazy as before.
She wants to play, cuddle, bark, go for walks, chase rabbits, sleep on my bed, eat a lot, be nosy and nibble at my food. I'll take this Kelly any day, compared to the sad one I had for a few weeks.

I've been putting some aspirin in her food, and I think it's helping. If it makes her feel better, then I'm all for it.

I'm glad she's back to her former self, because when she's happy, I seem to be happier, too. She just has that crazy, stupid way of always cheering me up. If I need a little nap after work, she knows to just lay next to me and take it easy. If I'm not feeling well, she knows not to pester.

I know she won't live forever, but I'd like her around for awhile yet. I can't imagine not having her or another dog in my life. It's amazing how attached I've become, and its surprised me more than anyone else. When I agreed to take her, it was on a "trial" basis. The deal was that I could give her back if at any time it wasn't working out. Now if someone tried to take her from me I'd probably fight tooth and nail!

Taking her in has definitely changed my life and lifestyle, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

Talent?

Once in awhile I'll catch that show on NBC, America's Got Talent.

Is it just me, or are the acts really not that talented? I mean, I'm not saying they're not, or that I could do some of those things. But if I'm watching people compete for a 1 million dollar prize, I should see some pretty amazing talent. Like, falling off my couch talent. Some of the singers probably wouldn't make the Top 24 on Idol, and some of the other acts are just cheesy with a capital C.

Like I said, if this is "America's Best," I'd hate to see our worst.

Where's Kelly?

This morning I woke up and expected to see Kelly on the floor next to me, but she wasn't. I checked the other side of the bed. Still....no Kelly. Hmmm...I figured she must've went into the living room at some point.
I went into the living room...no Kelly.
I checked the dining room...no Kelly.
I checked the kitchen...no Kelly.
I checked the bathroom...no Kelly.

By now I was starting to get really worried, because in the last two weeks Kelly has not used the stairs. I dashed upstairs anyway, and still, no Kelly. Well, what the heck? She couldn't get out. She couldn't have been kidnapped, or dog-napped. Or could she?

I started going downstairs to the basement, and much to my dismay, there she was, at the base of the stairs with her tail flapping crazily. Wow!! How she got down there without killing herself, I haven't a clue. Is she feeling better?!? I can only hope so.

I'm sure when she looked up at the stairs, it looked like Mount Everest, and she seemed groggy from sleeping. I didn't have a lot of time to dink around and still had to let her out and shower for work. So I stuck my arms underneath her belly, hoisted up all 60+ pounds of her and carried her upstairs. I heard her grumble, kind of like...."I can do this myself, you knucklehead!" But I carried her anyway. And maybe she didn't mind.

I took this photo of her on Wednesday. She's looking more perky, is holding her neck up better, eating well and enjoys her walks. As long as she's happy, that's fine with me.

Not the Same

Kelly is not the same.

I noticed some changes in her about a week ago. She didn't want to play fetch anymore. She wasn't barking hysterically when I, or even strangers would enter the house. When I threw her a treat in the air, expecting her to jump and gobble it up, it clunked her in the face.
Maybe it's the heat, my friend said.
Maybe your cold is rubbing off on her, others said.
Maybe she is just getting used to you and isn't as hyper, my sister said.

I wasn't sure what it was, but she certainly wasn't the same Kelly as when I brought her home.
When I described her conditions on the phone to John, he knew right away what it was. Kelly had very extensive neck surgery a few years ago, and he thinks it's acting up again or that one of her discs might be leaking fluid. That would explain the no jumping, less barking and no ball fetching.

I took her to John and Amy's house yesterday, and my other brother had to lift her out of my car. She was walking with her head down. She was tentative, timid and wasn't herself. I asked what we could do, knowing full well that there isn't probably anything short of putting her through another surgery, which we don't want to do. John said, "if she doesn't improve, and she'll probably get worse before she gets better, we'll probably have to put Kelly-dog to sleep."

As much as I hate that thought and have balled my eyes out since hearing that, I know it's the right thing to do. Kelly has lived a very good life, and if she's hurting and not the same, then we don't want her miserable. I had to lift out of my car yesterday, and had a hard time getting her to go outside. This morning I let her out the front door, because she won't go near the deck, and after she went pottie, I had to carry her back into the house. Two weeks ago I couldn't go outside without her if I wanted to, and now she's hesitant to go anywhere. That's not the Kelly I know.

For now, I'm trying to keep her as comfortable as possible. I made her homemade doggie treats last night, I let her sleep on the couch (which was a no-no before), and her walks will be short, if there will be any. That's all I can do. We'll take it one day at a time.

Clingy Kelly

Kelly is starting to follow me around like a....lost puppy. But she is not a puppy anymore, and she is not lost! She is definitely more clingy than she used to be. Yesterday I swore she followed me into every room I went. The living room, the kitchen, the bedroom, laundry room, upstairs, downstairs, even the bathroom! Now, if I want any privacy at all, I need to shut the door, otherwise she nudges it open.

When I get out of the shower in the morning, instead of finding her in the living room like I used to, she's in "my spot" where I get ready. When I used to turn on the hair dryer, she immediately left the room. Now she endures it. When I go into the garage to put some cans in the recycle bin, she yelps like I'm leaving and never coming back. The last couple of nights I have woken up to find her laying right along side me instead of at the end of the bed.

I guess I should take it as a compliment. She's getting used to me and is starting to feel more at home. When I picked her up last weekend, she couldn't wait to jump into my car. She's even listening better than before and following the commands from me that my brother used.

But I'm sorry....if I need to do my business, especially a No. 2, I don't want no dog panting right in my face. That's where I draw the line!

Two of a Kind

On Sunday night, I bought a lemon pepper chicken at the store. I took off the white meat for the week and decided to let Kelly lick up what was left. She just started devouring everything until I took it away. I didn't think much of it.

Monday afternoon I came home to find some interesting brown spots on the dining room rug! I looked at her, and said, "If you're going to vomit, can you at least wait until we are outside, or can you do it on the linoleum floor like I do when I'm too drunk?? She gave me a guilty face that said, "I couldn't help it..." After using spot remover, wipes and carpet freshener, it came out pretty well. When I was done, I went to lay down on my bed, and she cuddled up next to me. I think it was her way of apologizing.

I really can't be angry. It is partly my fault for letting her devour chicken scraps, which I have never done. And, I have vomited in some pretty interesting places back in the day, so I can relate.

I Have a Dog!

As of this week I became a dog owner to a cute yellow lab named Kelly. She is nine, and we are big buddies! She loves to play fetch in my backyard and take walks in the neighborhood. Sometimes she drives me a little nuts, like when she tries to lick my face in the morning or growls at other dogs, but I'm hoping she will become accustomed to city life. She was my brother's dog, but, now she has a new home...with me. :)

It's a Girl!

No, not for me.
My brother and sister-in-law know they are having a girl, in additional to their one-year-old twins! This will even up the boy-girl ratio for grandchildren in our family. Right now I have six nephews and five nieces, and new baby girl will give us six and six.

The girls were outnumbered for a long time. The first four grand kids were boys (Bill, Logan, Bobby, Jack), so when Kate came along, we were pretty excited. My sisters and I bought her every pink doll, dress and barbie we could get our hands on. We were excited for a baby girl.

Then four years later came McKenzie. In three years, Isabella. In the last 1.5 years, we got Ben, Elle and Jack (twins) and little Mary. In July, another girl!

I love my nephews dearly, but....
Girls rule!!!

Vacation-itis

I am suffering from Vacation-itis. This is when you are in major need of a vacation and are itching to get away!
Thank goodness I am leaving town for a few days on Friday to see Tara in Texas. Hopefully the weather will be even warmer than it is here. I always think the only thing you should debate on vacation is what kind of drink you should order. Any decisions more difficult than that...and it's NOT a vacation!

Not Today

My mom was recently babysitting my niece and nephew, Isabella and Ben. Ben is just over a year, and his sister is almost 1.5 years. Yes, they are very close in age! When my mom said to her in the afternoon, "Come on Isabella, it's time to take a nap....." She shook her head and said, "not today." Ha! She did end up taking a nap, and a pretty long one. But she also doesn't like to all the time.

Isabella is getting to be pretty smart, and she doesn't act like a 1.5-year-old. I laugh when I think of her saying it, and I like the bluntness to it as well. How much would we just all love to say that when we really feel like it?

May I please have some ketchup with that? Not today.
Are you going to get me that report that I asked for? Not today.
Does my butt look big in these pants? Not today.
Are you dieting? Not today.

Maybe tomorrow, but not today.

A Day in the Age of...

I had a nice happy moment this week.

After cardio kickboxing on Tuesday at the Y, the instructor, this other guy Eddie, and myself were chatting. The instructor said to me, "May I ask how old you are?"

Oh no.

Me: "Um, Suuuurrreeeee," I said, slowly. "I'm 30,......actually. Like, just turned...in October. Really recently. Yeah, just lately. My bday was like, yesterday. Well, not really, but who's counting days?"
Her: Really?
Me (inside my head): She thinks I'm 37. She thinks I'm 33. She thinks I'm older than I am. Be strong. You can take it.
Her: You don't seem 30 at all! Yeah, I would've guessed 27, maybe 28. Totally.

Yay, I made a new friend today! :)

Bring it Back

Five Things Tara and I Would Like to See Back:

1. Six-pack: I loved the six-pack of soda. Who carries it anymore? Now all they have is the 12-case, the 24-case or the refrigerator-friendly case thingy. Even better was the 8-pack 12-oz glass bottles. Soda (and beer) always taste better in a glass bottle. Back in the day, you could bring those back to Krakow IGA and get a refund. Sweet.

2. The Busy Signal: Call Waiting, schmaiting! I don't like call waiting. I don't really like putting people on call waiting, and I don't like being put on call waiting. And when is the proper time to hang up when the person doesn't come back? 30 seconds? 1 minute? 2 minutes? When I still had my land line, I didn't have any features on it, including call waiting. I had the good ole'fashioned busy signal! The crazy thing is, I don't even mind it when I hear a busy signal. You know what I do when I hear a busy signal? I hang up, wait 15 minutes, and call back. And if I hear it again? I wait again and call back. I love that annoying little beep that doesn't stop. I don't think we always need to be available 24-7. The busy signal is a polite way of signifying, "You know what, I'm BUSY talking to someone else. Call me again when I'm not."

3. Traditional bar: We love traditional bar. Tara and I can go to a bar and sit in the same two spots for hours. We watch people come and go. In this day and age of booths, tables, posh couches, being wallflowers, etc., nothing beats sitting right at the bar. Not only do you usually get the better service, but it's where all the action is. It's also a great way to meet men. Men like drinks, and the one thing between them and their drinks is....YOU. Hmmmm...

4. Layaway: This is more of a Tara thing. I've never actually done layaway, but apparently it was very well-received in her family. She said Shopko doesn't even do it anymore. According to her, layaway worked like this: If you're at Shopko and want to put a bike on layaway, you put down a deposit, and they keep it for you until you pay it off. I said to her, "what about credit cards, or payment plans? With those things at least you get what you want right away." She said, "I don't want it right away, and I don't want the big interest rates. I just want it held for me behind the counter until I can pay for it." Ok...Apparently this is a dying trend now with credit card use, payment options and gift cards.

5. Gas Station Attendants: When it's this bitter cold outside, I'd pay $5 extra just for someone to fill the gas tank. I'd pay $8 if they wash my windshield, too. Heck, $10 to run inside and bring me some hot coffee.

Moments

Sometimes timing is everything.

Like everyone else, I was complaining about the cold this morning (a whopping 5 degrees). I wasn't happy that I didn't sleep well last night, or that when I woke up my house felt a little drafty. I was mad that I forgot to make and program my coffee to start dripping at approximately 6:15 am, like it always does. It irked me that I had to take my car to the service station, because I wasn't getting enough heat in it yesterday. I was angry that I wore my shorter, corduroy jacket instead of my wool coat that is knee-length. And why the heck did I wear a sweater with small holes in it (it's supposed to be this way) on such a cold day? It didn't help when I got to work to discover that the heater in my office still isn't working due to a valve that is on back order. It's 8:45, and I have to go to a meeting. I'm cold, tired and irritated that I never got my coffee.

Our offices are housed in the Brown County Library. The library is really the only public institution downtown that is still open. We have access to the back door, that is not open to the public. When I was leaving for my meeting to my co-workers' car, I saw a homeless gentleman perched along the wall of the building. Growing up in the country is not exactly a place where you see a lot of people who are homeless, but it's not like I haven't seen them before. This just hit me differently. He was tall and thin, with shaggy brown hair and a beard. He had a few belongings. He had on blue jeans. I don't remember if he had a winter coat on. I looked at him, but he didn't look at me. I felt a lump in my throat and kept walking. He never looked at me, yet I looked away quickly, but not because I was repulsed by him. I was ashamed at myself.

Gosh, it was cold this morning, but at least I have a roof over my head. And as tired as I was, at least I have a comfy bed to sleep in. I actually have my choice of three beds to sleep in. It's nice that I also have my choice of a few winter jackets every day. I guess the next time I wake up and there isn't coffee ready or I have to take my cold car to the shop or if I wear a sweater with holes in my chilly office, I won't complain. I'll actually feel pretty blessed. Maybe I needed to see this guy. Maybe it was somebody's way of saying, you're pretty darn lucky. Maybe I really do need to donate more food, money or time for people who need it. Maybe the next time I get asked for $.50 on the street, I just need to give it. I know some people would say it might be a waste, but so what? It might, or it might not. Chances are it will do more good than just sitting in my pocket.

Most of us have everything we need to survive. We have more than enough. I do. Most of us don't give as much as we can or should. I don't. I do here and there, but not enough. I know I can do more. I wish it didn't take seeing a person who has way less than I do to realize it.

Chocolate - a Woman's Best Friend

I'm sure my female friends can relate to this. Is it just me, or are there certain days of the month where you crave chocolate a lot more than others?? But you don't just crave it, you like, NEED it. You want to drink it. Bathe in it. Dream about it. Wake up in a river of it. And you need it NOW. Badly. Or someone will get hurt. It might even only last only a day or two, but when it hits, look out!

Last night this was happening, and as I was watching Grey's Anatomy, I ate chocolate chips leftover from Christmas cookie-baking. It also didn't help that when flipping channels, I saw an ad for the "LG Chocolate" phone by Verizon Wireless. Even that looked pretty edible. Then I toyed with baking a chocolate cake out of the blue, but that would've interfered with my favorite TV show, and I couldn't miss that. At that point making some hot chocolate wasn't going to be enough. Luckily, I got tired, and I fell asleep during "Men in Trees."

But the need hasn't stopped today. There were a few leftover Hershey Kisses in the breakroom, but that didn't suffice. I rummaged through my work drawer today to only find some expired popcorn and some cup of soup. Um...yeah. Nothing chocolate-y about those things at all! The banana on my desk looks pretty good, but would look even better smothered in cacao-covered beans. So I broke down and ventured downstairs to purchase some overpriced Junior Mints in the machine. The box was gone within 10 minutes. The crazy thing is that I should feel ill, horribly sick to my stomach, but I don't. It was almost like my body needed this. My butt and hips sure don't need it, but I did. It's amazing the things we will consider doing for chocolate.

12

At Christmastime with the fam, my brother and sister-in-law announced they are expecting! Their twins (Elle and Jack, at left) will be 1 in March, so they will only be 16 months apart from the new baby. Whoa!

The number 12 is two-fold. I'm guessing by now they are about 12 weeks along, or maybe a little more than that. This will also be my 12th niece or nephew, just in my family! My friend jokingly asked if our family plans to start our own zip code. Maybe we will! Hahahaha....

Recipe Sharing

Recently, I tried two new recipes in my slow cooker, that I got from That's My Home. Both involve pork, the "other" white meat.

One is called Teriyaki Pork Roast (consisting of brown sugar, apple juice, soy sauce, among other things). I even cut up a few slices of apple to put in the cooker. The other is Pepsi Pork Roast, containing a whole can of pepsi! I know, crazy! I wasn't sure how these would turn out when I read about the ingredients, but they are simply fabulous.

Check 'em out!

Why am I Still Single? - No Rummage Sales

As soon as females are of marriageable age, they are constantly asked, "why are you still single?" "How come you don't have a serious boyfriend?" "Why aren't you with anybody?"

Grrrrrr....

So, why am I still single? I remember something my friend Tara told me several months ago.

It's a typical single gal's story...I was pining after some guy who was wrong for me for many reasons, only I was too blind to see it. He was one of these guys who didn't really want to be with me, but also couldn't totally let me go. I'm not claiming to be perfect, and I never will be. He did have a little baggage at the time, but I looked past it. I had a hard time understanding why he didn't think the same way I did. Why didn't he like me? Why wouldn't he want to date me? What did I do to him that was SO awful that he wouldn't consider ME? Yes, woe was ME!

I was lamenting over this to Tara on the phone one evening, of course, with the phone in one hand and a spoon dipped in the Haagen Dazs with the other. When I was on my tangent, of "Why didn't he,....why wouldn't he,....why couldn't he....." she blurted, "He won't date you, because YOU'RE not a rummage-sale girl!

Huh? What's wrong with rummage sales?

Tara said, "Jamie, you're not the 25-cent shoes people find at rummage sales - you're the $100 Saks Fifth Avenue shoes. You're not used goods. He won't have to work very hard to get the 25-cent shoes, but he'll have to work a lot harder for the $100 shoes. Hence, you are not a rummage-sale girl."

Hmmm...For once, Tara was pretty on to something. She's right. I am not a rummage-sale girl. I haven't always made the best choices, but when it comes down to it, I won't be the 25-cent shoe, worn and tethered. The 25-cent shoe begging for someone to take it, even though once purchased, might end up tossed in the back of the closet. I know so many people who are in great relationships, who are treated like the $100 shoe, and I feel I deserve the same.

And the guy? Once I finally started acting more like the $100 shoe, he sensed it, and communication naturally tailed off. I know it sounds corny, but what happened was meant to be.

The next time someone asks, "Why are you still single?" I will simply say, "because I'm not a rummage-sale girl." Knowing my luck, they will probably think I'm a snob, and take it as though I'm too good for rummage sales. I'm not too good to shop at rummage sales. I just don't want to be featured at one.

Vital to My Health

I decided for the month of January I am not going to purchase anything house related unless it is absolutely vital and important to my health and safety. I've been pretty good about keeping my spending in check, but I'm to a point where I have everything I need right now to successfully function.

Last night I did buy a carbon monoxide detector. I had no idea those were like....$30!! At first it seemed a little stiff, but when I thought about it, it seemed like a small price to pay when it's a matter of life and death.

I also purchased a middle-of-the-line humidifier, with "warm mist." My house gets dry and some mornings I wake up with a scratchy throat, so I declared this was also vital and important to my health. There were some that have "cool mist," which I frowned upon. My house is "cool" enough as it is. If I'm going to have any mist lurking around, it's going to be warm!

Now, if I can find a way to justify getting highlights, I will be all set....

Happy New Year!!

Welcome 2007!
Is it just me, or is anyone else REALLY glad it's a new year??

It's not that I did not like 2006, because a lot of great things happened in 2006. I have a different job, I took a trip to Europe and got to see my Polish ancestors (not really), I went to Atlanta for the first time, I took a break from playing volleyball, met some interesting people, turned 30 and bought a house. So, what did I not like about 2006? I have a different job, took a trip when I was switching jobs, went to Atlanta before buying a house, took a break from playing volleyball, met some interesting people and turned 30.

Hmmmm.

It was a good year, but I'm ready to start anew. Like it says in the lyrics of "Auld Lang Syne" Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind? It's not that I want to forget about 2006, but I don't want to keep living in it, either.
Out with the old, in with the new!!