Not the Same

Kelly is not the same.

I noticed some changes in her about a week ago. She didn't want to play fetch anymore. She wasn't barking hysterically when I, or even strangers would enter the house. When I threw her a treat in the air, expecting her to jump and gobble it up, it clunked her in the face.
Maybe it's the heat, my friend said.
Maybe your cold is rubbing off on her, others said.
Maybe she is just getting used to you and isn't as hyper, my sister said.

I wasn't sure what it was, but she certainly wasn't the same Kelly as when I brought her home.
When I described her conditions on the phone to John, he knew right away what it was. Kelly had very extensive neck surgery a few years ago, and he thinks it's acting up again or that one of her discs might be leaking fluid. That would explain the no jumping, less barking and no ball fetching.

I took her to John and Amy's house yesterday, and my other brother had to lift her out of my car. She was walking with her head down. She was tentative, timid and wasn't herself. I asked what we could do, knowing full well that there isn't probably anything short of putting her through another surgery, which we don't want to do. John said, "if she doesn't improve, and she'll probably get worse before she gets better, we'll probably have to put Kelly-dog to sleep."

As much as I hate that thought and have balled my eyes out since hearing that, I know it's the right thing to do. Kelly has lived a very good life, and if she's hurting and not the same, then we don't want her miserable. I had to lift out of my car yesterday, and had a hard time getting her to go outside. This morning I let her out the front door, because she won't go near the deck, and after she went pottie, I had to carry her back into the house. Two weeks ago I couldn't go outside without her if I wanted to, and now she's hesitant to go anywhere. That's not the Kelly I know.

For now, I'm trying to keep her as comfortable as possible. I made her homemade doggie treats last night, I let her sleep on the couch (which was a no-no before), and her walks will be short, if there will be any. That's all I can do. We'll take it one day at a time.