Moments

Sometimes timing is everything.

Like everyone else, I was complaining about the cold this morning (a whopping 5 degrees). I wasn't happy that I didn't sleep well last night, or that when I woke up my house felt a little drafty. I was mad that I forgot to make and program my coffee to start dripping at approximately 6:15 am, like it always does. It irked me that I had to take my car to the service station, because I wasn't getting enough heat in it yesterday. I was angry that I wore my shorter, corduroy jacket instead of my wool coat that is knee-length. And why the heck did I wear a sweater with small holes in it (it's supposed to be this way) on such a cold day? It didn't help when I got to work to discover that the heater in my office still isn't working due to a valve that is on back order. It's 8:45, and I have to go to a meeting. I'm cold, tired and irritated that I never got my coffee.

Our offices are housed in the Brown County Library. The library is really the only public institution downtown that is still open. We have access to the back door, that is not open to the public. When I was leaving for my meeting to my co-workers' car, I saw a homeless gentleman perched along the wall of the building. Growing up in the country is not exactly a place where you see a lot of people who are homeless, but it's not like I haven't seen them before. This just hit me differently. He was tall and thin, with shaggy brown hair and a beard. He had a few belongings. He had on blue jeans. I don't remember if he had a winter coat on. I looked at him, but he didn't look at me. I felt a lump in my throat and kept walking. He never looked at me, yet I looked away quickly, but not because I was repulsed by him. I was ashamed at myself.

Gosh, it was cold this morning, but at least I have a roof over my head. And as tired as I was, at least I have a comfy bed to sleep in. I actually have my choice of three beds to sleep in. It's nice that I also have my choice of a few winter jackets every day. I guess the next time I wake up and there isn't coffee ready or I have to take my cold car to the shop or if I wear a sweater with holes in my chilly office, I won't complain. I'll actually feel pretty blessed. Maybe I needed to see this guy. Maybe it was somebody's way of saying, you're pretty darn lucky. Maybe I really do need to donate more food, money or time for people who need it. Maybe the next time I get asked for $.50 on the street, I just need to give it. I know some people would say it might be a waste, but so what? It might, or it might not. Chances are it will do more good than just sitting in my pocket.

Most of us have everything we need to survive. We have more than enough. I do. Most of us don't give as much as we can or should. I don't. I do here and there, but not enough. I know I can do more. I wish it didn't take seeing a person who has way less than I do to realize it.