1) It's his loss.
Oh, really? Then why am I the one who feels like a pile of doo-doo????
2) If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be.
Then will someone please enlighten me on what IS meant to be?
3) Oh well, at least you're putting yourself out there. I give you credit for trying.
Do I get a Popsicle or gold star for at least trying?
4) Why aren't you married yet?
Geez, I dunno. Why don't we ask the single, greater-Green Bay male population?
5) Is that grey hair?
Yes, thanks for noticing. Are you expecting, or did you just eat too much peanut brittle over the Holidays?
6) Auntie Jamie, why don't you have any kids?
Because I'd like to be married first.
7) Auntie Jamie, well then why aren't you married?
See # 4.
8) You're too picky.
Well you know what? I'm smart, funny, sassy, educated, independent, ambitious, well-traveled, fun and devastatingly attractive, so sue me and my big butt for not wanting or waiting for the same!
9) I would set you up with _____, but I like you too much, and you're too good for him.
Wait a minute...I thought I was too picky? Now I'm TOO good?
10) You can't be single forever, Jamie.
Actually, I can.
11) You should consider trying ________
a) speed dating
b) dating websites
c) meeting men through a church group
a) been there
b) done that
c) single men don't go to church
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3 comments:
Yes, I like this! Maybe I can make up one about why my husband and I don't have kids! Actually, it's getting easier--people don't say stupid stuff the older you look. Now they just assume that you have kids--sometimes I play along! (naughty!)
Things not to say to a 40 something who can't have children:
1) Why don’t you have any children?
Why don’t you mind your own business?
2) You would make such a great parent.
I think that’s meant as a compliment but you don’t know anything about me.
3) We could raise our kids together.
You want me to join you in hell, right?
3) Why don’t you adopt?
Because I don’t want to.
4) Your biological clock is ticking.
No Sh*t.
5) Don’t you like kids?
Yes, they are some of my favorite people in the world. (& they are more sensitive than adults on this subject!)
6) Oh, so your cats are like your kids?
Duh!
7) You should consider trying
A) new positions
B) fertility treatments
C) adoption
A) our sex life is fine thank you
B) not interested in going there
C) see point 3 above
8) You won’t have children to take care of you when you’re old.
And you are sure YOU will?
9) You must be so lonely and unfulfilled.
Not really.
10) If it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be.
Precisely.
Wow, Jamie, I whipped this up in 5 minutes. I must be as frustrated as you! Love you babe!
Are people that dumb to actually suggest new sex positions?!?!
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