I Don't Want a Nice Guy

That's right - you heard me.
I don't want a nice guy.

I need one. I demand one. I deserve one.

When in the history of "womankind" was a "nice guy" a bonus?
"Bonuses" are things like having a full set of teeth or not going bald at the age of 27.

It shouldn't be a bonus. It shouldn't be the icing on the cake. It shouldn't be the burger and fries and we'll throw in the side salad for free.

It's a necessity. The last time I checked with my single female friends, they weren't actually seeking jerks. Who wants to date a jerk? Hopefully no one.

I've looked at enough online profile files throughout the years, and it seems like "nice guy" is the big catchphrase.
Nice guy looking for Nice Girl.
I'm just a regular, nice guy.
Nice Girl Needed to Befriend Nice Guy.

That's fine and dandy and all, but I, and I hope my friends, would want more than just a nice guy. Nice girls deserve nice guys, just as nice guys deserve nice girls.

I don't want a nice guy.