Friday, May 09, 2008

Crooked Lake Characters

I'm so glad it's almost "summer." Summer to me, means....farmers markets, Bay Beach, swimming outside, Brewers games, bbq-ing and Crooked Lake!

For the past decade or so, a couple weekends out of the summer I venture up to T's family cottage in Crooked Lake, or "CL" as we call it. K attends when she can, and sometimes B comes with her. We hang out with G and D (T's parents), Aunty B, and her grandma before she passed away.

There are always good times had up by the lake. Good meals, good drinks, fireworks, drives into "town" or into the big city of Crivitz, and nights at the local drinking holes. And at these drinking holes we always meet some characters. Some we see every summer and some we meet only once (and sometimes that's enough!)

Here, as far as I can remember, is a list of our favorite CL "cast of characters."

- Keven: (yes, with two e's). The latest and greatest bartender at Randall's, which was formerly Steiny's, and before that, Chris and Dave's. Keven used to work in Vegas but now spends his time at the lake. He's very popular among the "ladies" and he makes drinks nice and strong. We constantly remind him his name is spelled wrong.

- Billy Zane: This is the boy T had a crush on for most of her life at the cabin. After he shaved his head, he looked like Billy Zane from the Titanic. His family lived in the cabin next door up until a few years ago. Sadly, though, Billy Zane married and had children, and eventually T moved on, too.

Abe: This gomer was Billy Zane's friend and was obsessed with T. He sat with her fam and looked at baby pictures of her. I think he even asked her out.

- Scary Larry: This was Billy Zane's dad. Larry could never remember my name, and he always had a drink in his hand, whether I arrived at the cabin at 8 am or 8 pm. Hmmmm.....

-Kevin Costner: Kevin (spelled the normal way) was Billy Zane's brother and Larry's oldest son. He looked an awful lot like Kevin Costner, and was pretty fun to drink with at the campfire.

- Brian: This was one of Billy Zane's friends that Scary Larry wanted to set me up with a few years back. I thought he was alright until he managed to polish off a twelve-pack while we were all hanging out on a SUNDAY AFTERNOON. Yeah...

-Hitler: We met Hitler when we were in our early 20s at one of the bars. He had a major crush on K, and even asked T's mom if she thought "he had a chance with her." Yeah, T and I would've set him straight right away. He either had a moustache like Hitler, or just dirt above his lip. We could never tell.

The Pilot (aka Nancy Boy): The pilot was the son of the other neighbors, and we met him a few summers back. He wasn't too shabby and even seemed pretty cool, until he CHOSE to go play cards with Mommy and Daddy instead of going out drinking with us. BOR-ING!

-Whitey: We saw Whitey for two consecutive summers at the lake, but now he's disappeared. Whitey lived in Freedom, and had the whitest teeth in the world (hence, his name). Whitey kind of had a thing for T, and one year she did give him her email address. I guess they still don't have email access in Freedom, because she never heard from him.

-Timmy: Tim is a CL "regular," as in he lives there year- round. He's always at The Pines, or the local karaoke place on Saturday nights. His voice is so good that I was honored when he agreed to a duet with me on "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler. (I wanted to do a duet from "Grease" but Timmy, with his mullet and cut-off denim shirt, had something against John Travolta. Imagine that!) We were smashingly good, and it was a crowd pleaser.

-Bonnie: This lady owns one of the local establishments, and runs the karaoke on Saturday nights. That's fine and dandy and all, but why does she have to sing every other song?!?!

-Hippy: Hippy was a 50-something bartender one year at the Pines, and kept wanting to dance with me. He looked and dressed like a hippy, and I remember twirling around with him to the BeeGee's "How Deep is Your Love." Yeah...good times.

Paul Walker and his wife Pam: We met Paul Walker and his wife Pam last summer in early August. I don't think Paul Walker was his real name, but he sure looked like him. Pam was her actual name. They were fun and we ended up at their cottage for an after bar, along with Pete from Appleton (see below) and his friends.

Crivitz hottie: Yeah, T tried chasing down this one in the gravel parking lot of the gas station with the T-bird.

One-armed pool player: I think K played this guy in pool at the Pines. He was pretty good.

8 streakers: These guys invited T and I to go skinny dipping with them at the public beach. We snuck up on them, and then when they realized we were watching, they got a little mad. We escaped before the Oconto County cops showed up.

Shoreline bartender: This loser wouldn't make me a dirty girl scout shot. So then I had to reach across the bar, grab him by the collar, and insist, "I want a dirty girl scout!" He said, "yeah, so do I." I said, "yeah, you WOULD, ya perve!" I don't think I ever got one....but don't worry. I'm sure I crushed chips on the floor for that.

-Pete from Appleton: We met Pete and his buddies the same night we met Paul Walker and Pam last summer. I remember when he walked into Randall's, T said he was "actually hot, and not just Crooked Lake hot, but like even Green Bay hot." I only saw Pete that one night, I don't remember much about him, other than he was good at (tonsil) hockey...

There you have it. The CL cast of characters.
Who will be added to the list this summer????

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