Waiting

I really hate waiting, and I suck at it. My dad didn't want any of us here today during his surgery, but I didn't care, because I was going to come anyway. I'm keeping mom company more than anything, otherwise she'd be here by herself. When dad told her he didn't want any of the kids "seeing him after surgery," I said, "fine, tell him I'll come see you and not look at him."

He's so stubborn. Wonder where I get it from??

More Stuff

- Just got back from WLA yesterday, and I'm POOPED! I attended some good sessions, but I can honestly say I had WAY more fun outside of the sessions! Got to see and catch up with a lot of people, so that was nice. The only thing I don't like is sitting, sitting, sitting all day, and eating crap, crap, crap.
- Stopped at Trader Joe's on my way back to stock up on two-buck-Chuck (Charles Shaw) wine for my Festivus party. Should be a good time.
- Busy week ahead. Attending the Rotary meeting Tuesday morning, the one that is sponsoring me to Morocco. Have two training workshops, as well as hosting a teen brown bag. Am teaching my normal kickboxing classes, as well as subbing for a strength class on Friday and another kickboxing class on Saturday. And November was supposed to be a not-as-busy month. Right......
- Tomorrow am attending my nephews' joint bday parties, and then going to my other nephew's high school play.
- Next Sunday we are meeting at the farm to help cut, stack, pile wood for mom and dad, and then we'll watch the game and celebrate Bella's (niece) bday. It's dawning on me that mom and dad are starting to get...old. No old really, but that they can't do the things they once did. Maybe it's about time?!? Dad, until lately with his knee, has not shown many signs of slowing down.

Message to my Niece

Stuff

- Dad decided he will have a prostatectomy to remove the cancer in his prostate. I know he has been speaking to his doctor, and he will probably undergo surgery sometime in the next few weeks. He seems in good spirits and more than anything, just wants to get it done. After that, he'll have surgery on his knee (which is how this all started in the first place).

- I have my first team meeting with the Morocco group this Saturday. I haven't met anyone, but I will probably know them all pretty well before we begin our big adventure. After that I'll be working at the Wine and Beer Fund Raiser at Crystal Springs for my friend's library. I get to sell raffle tickets, while sampling wine. Yay!

- Still working out a lot, or trying to. Elizabeth and I still meet with Shaun once a week. I think I'm getting stronger, or at least I better be. I'd really like to drop a good 10 pounds, as I think it would make a big difference in how I feel. I did take the RealAge test again, and my real age is "24." :)

- Attending the WLA Conference next week. Hopefully the conference will start on a high note after Election Day!

- The economy scares the crap out of me. They say every family is a job loss away from foreclosing on their home, and I would be no different. Nothing seems very stable or certain, and most of the world still continues to hate us. (Thank you, W!) At least gas has been going down.

- Where in the heck did October go? I still haven't flipped my September calendar!

It's Positive, But We're Optimistic

So after the appointment yesterday with the urologist, I'm feeling a bit better about my dad's prognosis. It sounds like they caught the cancer early enough, and his chances of curing it are "greater than 95%." He needs to decide which form of treatment is best for him, and they all have their side affects. Still, when it comes to life or death, I'll take the side affects.

On a more selfish note, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed and brain-overloaded right now. Because I was the only other person in the room, everyone else (siblings) is asking me stuff. What is the doctor like? Does she seem "good?" Should dad get a second opinion? What do you think he should do? What do you think he'll end up doing?

I really don't know. I'm not a cancer expert. And I'm not dad.

I know dad will do what's best for him, whether it's seeking another opinion or not or getting the surgery vs. the radiation or if he feels comfortable with his dr. or not. We can give him all the opinions we want, but in the end, it's up to him. And it should be up to him.

I know everyone of us means well. We just want the cancer gone, because none of us are ready to face life without him.

It's Positive

That's what my mom said on Monday afternoon when I was in the middle of grocery shopping.
My dad's biopsy came back positive for prostate cancer.

She told me she was talking to my sister when dad got the call on his cell phone that morning. And when my sister found out, she cried. So somewhere in the middle of the honey and the beans and the tea aisle, I cried, too. And I didn't care if people saw me cry. Neither did mom. I'm sure Mom cried at some point, even though by the time we spoke she sounded in good spirits.

I know it's common in men his age, it's slow growing, there are lots of treatment options and usually is curable. But I still can't help but freak out a little when I hear the word "cancer."

He and my mom are going back on Friday to discuss his options. I offered to go along for moral support. As of now we don't know where it's at, how soon they caught it, what grade it is, etc. I'm only hoping it was detected early enough and that is hasn't spread. The good news is that he hasn't had any of the symptoms for prostate cancer, and he's not worried about it. On Friday I talked to him at my nephew's football game, before he knew of the biopsy results.

Hey...however the biopsy comes back, I'll deal with it. That's all we can do.

Geez, he makes it sound so easy!
Mom said he's in good spirits. Still milking the cows, eating his favorite ice cream and popcorn, doing his thing and probably more worried about we kids than he is about himself. He's always been like that. She said he doesn't want any of us to worry, which is almost impossible. How do you not worry about your dad, even if he's the toughest man you've ever known?

But all we can do in the meantime is wait. Wait for more information and then decide what to do. Wait and pray.

32

I turn 32 today, and I really don't care anymore about getting older.
Bring it on, I say!

I'm looking forward to celebrating tonight and eating cake. Birthdays, if anything, are a great excuse to get drunk with friends and eat cake.